Motivation

I'm starting to think that the few blog posts I've put up are becoming a bit routine. Something fun and then a lot of bitching and moaning. Sigh.

I'm still alive and kicking, but I think my brain and body have taken a vacation and forgot to put in a time-off request. I feel like I've been running full steam ahead since early 2008 and then with the zinger that closed out the year, the one that is still sending out aftershocks, well, I'm just freaking tired. Tired deep down in my bones and in the deepest recesses of my brain. It's making me moody and has started to interfere with my patience level, which already left a lot to be desired.

I knew going into the year that January would be slow in comparison to the past few months. While I enjoyed the holidays, there was a shadow over the whole thing and I couldn't wait for them to be over and to move on to the beginning of 2009. There have still been some bumps this month, but for the most part, it's been okay. But, I have been so incredibly lazy. It's hard for me to find the motivation to return phone calls. It's been hell finding any motivation to go to the gym. Cooking and cleaning? Meh. It happens, but it feels like I'm dragging myself to get it done. I'm happiest just nestling in on the couch reading a book. It's nice when Jim is there, too, although he's been working long hours, so he's in and out most of the time.

This isn't to say that I haven't done some fun stuff this month. I have. One night, after a particularly nasty week for both of us, I rallied and made a kick ass steak dinner with all the fixin's. We took one day to walk around Descanso Gardens, when we were having 80 degree weather earlier this month. We've been to a couple Lakers games, saw Phantom and I've hung out with some cool chicks. I even have pictures of some of these things. Have I had the motivation to actually blog about them though? Not so much.

Starting in February, life gets busy again. We're going on a mini-vacation (maybe I need that more than I realize...), his cousin is getting married in the spring, lots of baby showers, one of which I'm hosting, etc, etc. I'm excited for all these things, but I'm still tired. I still feel really out of sorts and I'm not quite sure how to, in the words of Matchbox 20 "get it back to good."

I'm not 18 anymore

And really, I haven't been 18 in over decade. You'd think that I'd have gotten used to it by now, but maybe not.

In an effort to restart my workouts for 2009, I attended a couple of dance classes last week. There is a small, local studio in my new 'hood that is supposed to be pretty good. I trotted down there Thursday night to take a Jazz Funk class that was labeled an "adult" class. Fine. However, once the class started, I realized by "adult" they meant "can legally drive a car". I'm gonna guess the average age of the class was maybe 20. And I think I'm being generous.

The age thing and the little clique of teens I found waiting for class to start really threw me for a loop. My initial reaction was to respond negatively. I was kind of intimidated and kept thinking "wow, look at how they think they're all that, etc, etc". But I stopped when I realized that I used to be them. I was one of the top girls in my little hometown dance studio in high school, one of the queen bees, if you will. And we walked around like we were the shit because that studio was our home. We had grown up there and were comfortable there. I still have so many fond memories of being with my other dance girls, going to competitions, performing in shows. It was one of the hardest things for me to leave when I moved to LA for school. I miss it even today. So who was I to judge these girls? They were only acting the way I had so many years ago.

Class started and I went through the warm up with no problems. The instructor said she doesn't usually repeat combos, but since she loved this one sooo much and because of the break and whatnot, she wanted to continue the one they learned before Christmas. She then proceeded to teach 7 eight-counts (e.g. 56 steps, not including half counts) in approximately 10 minutes.

HOLY CRAP!

I usually pick up choreography really quickly, not that I can do it perfectly, but I know it well enough to not look like an idiot after once or two go-rounds. Oh, but not this time. I was totally "that girl", the one who is in the back of the class, bumbling around like a fool who has no idea what she is doing. I've never been "that girl". Ever. Frustration does not begin to describe how I felt.

About midway through class, one of the youngins' complained that no wonder she was so lost, she never learned the combination in the first place. To which the instructor replied "Well, how do you think she [pointing at me] feels?" To which I responded, "I feel old." This seemed to break the ice with the young clique. The girls protested no, you're not old, the instructor said I was doing fine, that she normally teaches fast, but not this fast and we continued on with the combination.

Some of the girls continued to encourage me and some even introduced themselves. They seem like a sweet bunch overall. One girl is the spitting image of one of my good friends, which is odd and vaguely comforting at the same time. I never mastered the combination, but by the end, I could do it without looking like a total dweeb.

I haven't danced with teenagers since I was their age. And while it was really intimidating at first, I realized that I enjoy it. It brings me back to my own dance studio days, when I ran the place and it was as much a part of me as breathing. I'm going back this week. Even if my almost 30-year old bum can't quite pick up the steps as fast as I could when I was 18. Even if it means I have to swallow a little bit of my pride and be "that girl" for a few more weeks. I'm okay with that. In the end, it kinda makes me feel young again.

Wedding! Christmas! New Years! Whew.

We're almost half-way through January 2009 and I'm not even close to catching up with blog stuff from 2008. Lovely. So, instead of lots of long, drawn out posts, how 'bout a marathon one with everything (except the 3 Day Walk, that still deserves it's own post) all thrown together? Good? Good.

* Wedding in New Hampshire
Waaaay back in November, we attended a wedding for Jim's law school buddy. We were only there for a couple of days, but we had a great time. While it might have been raining outside, it definitely didn't dampen the festivities. The couple are very much in love and and it seems only a matter of time before they start expanding their family. Congrats G and J!

Rehearsal Dinner

Getting ready at the hotel. I was allowed to hang out with the guys to serve as photographer. Let me just say that it's tooootally different than girls getting ready before the wedding. Wow.


At the church




The reception took place at a castle. The cocktail hour was held inside and then the dinner was outside in a tent. The only downside was the water that was tracked onto the dance floor. Made dancing a bit treacherous, not that it stopped us or anything.
We also had to play some dollar game that I don't really remember, but it ultimately ended in me and one of the law school buddies having to go up and do a line dance. Um yeah. I look thrilled, no? :| The rest of the evening was much better.

Before we leave the wedding, what, you might be asking is the proper footwear for a chilly, wet New England wedding? Duh. Uggs with your cocktail dress. (Please note, I did change into heels for the ceremony and reception.)

* Christmas
We hosted several parties and then had Christmas Eve at our house for my mom and brother. I spent a large portion of December in my kitchen rockin' out to Christmas music. Some of the fruits of my labor:

Crudite, Prosciutto-wrapped Asparagus

Salted Marble Chocolate with Pecans, Snowflake Gingerbread Cookies

Mini Pumpkin Cheesecakes, Pumpkin Cake with Cream Cheese frosting

Jim and I did manage to take some time out to chill by ourselves, too. And what better way to do that than taking advantage of our hot tub. And some booze. And cigars. Wheee!

I was seriously considering not cooking for Christmas Eve, but eventually decided that it'd be worth it. Indeed, it was. No pictures because I was too busy in the kitchen, but we had a full ham dinner made from scratch. It was delish.

We also had fun with presents. My mom told my brother and me that she got us the same exact gift. That scared us. It shouldn't have, seeing as it was a portable GPS for our cars. Yay! Jim got golf lessons at our local course, while my mom got a PB giftcard and a Barefoot dreams blanket that matches the one I have.

Later, Jim and I exchanged gifts alone after everyone had left. However, before we could open gifts, we had to deal with an unexpected visitor. A lady had accidently hit my mom's car. Long story short, it didn't look bad, but she couldn't open the door and had to have a body shop take care of it before she could drive home. Sigh. It turned her short vacation into one that was almost 2 weeks. Yeah. Fun.

Anywho, back to Santa. Jim got me a Nikon D40 (yayayay!), a T3 hair dryer and some other assorted little things. He got an ipod touch and a blu-ray player. See, told you it was a very merry Christmas!

The next day we spent the morning with his family in the South Bay where we got tix to Phantom playing at the Pantages in January and a gift certificate to Cut! Woohoo! That afternoon we trekked out to his aunt's house in the valley for more socialing with the big extended clan. We are now officially the only married couple in the family that either don't have kids or aren't currently pregnant. We're standing strong though! It was a great night (except for one little incident that doesn't need mentioning here) and it was good to see everyone.

* New Year's
Mellow, just the way I like it. No pictures because I wasn't feelin' it. We had dinner and watched TV with some friends at their apartment and it was lovely. Good food, good friends, good conversation. What more do you need to ring in the new year, right?

And there you have it. The end of 2008 -- except for the walk, really the recap is coming soon.

Now I can start fresh and not feel so bad about being so very behind. Yay!