Thursday, January 29, 2009

Motivation

I'm starting to think that the few blog posts I've put up are becoming a bit routine. Something fun and then a lot of bitching and moaning. Sigh.

I'm still alive and kicking, but I think my brain and body have taken a vacation and forgot to put in a time-off request. I feel like I've been running full steam ahead since early 2008 and then with the zinger that closed out the year, the one that is still sending out aftershocks, well, I'm just freaking tired. Tired deep down in my bones and in the deepest recesses of my brain. It's making me moody and has started to interfere with my patience level, which already left a lot to be desired.

I knew going into the year that January would be slow in comparison to the past few months. While I enjoyed the holidays, there was a shadow over the whole thing and I couldn't wait for them to be over and to move on to the beginning of 2009. There have still been some bumps this month, but for the most part, it's been okay. But, I have been so incredibly lazy. It's hard for me to find the motivation to return phone calls. It's been hell finding any motivation to go to the gym. Cooking and cleaning? Meh. It happens, but it feels like I'm dragging myself to get it done. I'm happiest just nestling in on the couch reading a book. It's nice when Jim is there, too, although he's been working long hours, so he's in and out most of the time.

This isn't to say that I haven't done some fun stuff this month. I have. One night, after a particularly nasty week for both of us, I rallied and made a kick ass steak dinner with all the fixin's. We took one day to walk around Descanso Gardens, when we were having 80 degree weather earlier this month. We've been to a couple Lakers games, saw Phantom and I've hung out with some cool chicks. I even have pictures of some of these things. Have I had the motivation to actually blog about them though? Not so much.

Starting in February, life gets busy again. We're going on a mini-vacation (maybe I need that more than I realize...), his cousin is getting married in the spring, lots of baby showers, one of which I'm hosting, etc, etc. I'm excited for all these things, but I'm still tired. I still feel really out of sorts and I'm not quite sure how to, in the words of Matchbox 20 "get it back to good."

14 comments:

R said...

I've been going through my own version of these same feelings lately. I think I understand where you're coming from. It's hard to shake the funk but I believe things will change for the better eventually. I know "hang in there" doesn't quite cut it, but I hope you do. And I hope you know that I'm in your corner rooting for you. :)

A vacation sounds really good right now. Maybe it'll be just what you need to slough off that bone saturating exhaustion. I hope you have a great time!

A Feminist Gold Digger said...

These things come and go, I think. Hopefully things will be back to fabby before you even realize it.

WeezerMonkey said...

We all feel this way sometimes. Well, I feel this way specifically about exercise ALL the time.

But I don't think that's what you're talking about.

;)

Nanette said...

I hear ya.

How was Phantom?

Winnie said...

Ooooh I've love to go see phantom! I hope you get out of this "thing" soon. We're all here for you :)

Leslie said...

I've definitely been in a funk lately, and I think it's normal that you're in one as well, considering all that has happened. It's not exactly a "dust yourself off and move on" type of thing; it will take time. In the meantime, obey your instincts and do what makes you happy and what you feel like your body and soul need.

How's that for cheesy? ;)

ssinca said...

we are all allowed to be in funks every now and then...sounds like you really need that vacation! I'm glad you are able to get away and will hopefully clear your head.

so cliche, but like everyone else said - hang in there. ;)

California Girl said...

You've been through a hell of a lot. How can you not be affected?

My advice - take it day by day. Your body/psyche will lead the way. Just be patient and loving with yourself though it. Two sayings I always think of to get through tough times - "Pain is the universe's way of getting your attention" and "Talk to yourself as nicely as you do your plants."

That's if you have plants, of course :)

kim said...

I feel ya, sister. I am also a part of the "funk club."

Hopefully yours is a phase that will pass quickly. I bet the mini-vacation will be refreshing and just the pick-me-up you need.

Jen said...

Hopefully the mini vacations will help revive you.

I hear you on the funk. Thursday night definitely helped me with mine.

Hang in there. If you need wine and to chat, say the word. xoxo.

Karen said...

glad to have obliged with the shabbos prep post - you're also always welcome to email me with questions like that.

Diabolina Da Fashionista said...

there's just something in the air lately i think. a general malaise. think the vacation will be just what you need. a wardrobe consultation will help too ;)

wan-nabe said...

i love you. that's all i got :)

Claire said...

I'm right there with you... The only thing I've been doing that helps is taking pleasure in little things, and making sure those little things happen every day, even if it's just downloading cheesy new music or really noticing the beautiful ocean during my morning commute.

So much cheese... ;)