Wednesday, November 2, 2011

One month

I have no idea where October went, mostly because I've spent the entirety of the month in that lovely new mom fog. ;) Our little peanut arrived late September, on his due date, and he has been keeping us on our toes ever since.

My pregnancy was fairly uneventful and labor and deliver was also great. 9 hours from the start of timeable contractions (and only 10 minutes of active pushing) and we were able to meet our son, who came out with a few loud screams and then quieted down to start taking in the world around him. All the while, holding my finger in his hand. Precious and amazing doesn't even begin to describe it.

After all of that, it didn't seem all that surprising that the other shoe had to drop. Little J had a couple of issues in the hospital, ones that threatened a NICU stay, but thankfully that never came to fruition. Being typical overly-worried first time parents, Jim and I barely slept in the hospital and the first couple of days that he was home with us.

We had a few bumps in the road with nursing, though thankfully those have been resolved. And then the screaming began. Oh, the screaming. This child was never just awake and happy, he was either eating, asleep or screaming. It was brutal. A call to the pediatrician and a quick check and they think the poor little guy has silent reflux - no spitting up, but the acid is still backing up into his throat and making him pretty uncomfortable. Add an insane amount of gas and GI discomfort and he was making his pain known to us in a big loud way. It was damn near impossible to comfort him, which will make you feel like the worst parent in the world. I hit rock bottom when he was 3.5 weeks old - sobbed to the nurse from the ped's office when she called to check in on us, was horribly snotty to my husband and really wasn't feeling very fond of this new little person living with us either.

Thankfully, things started getting a little better the next day and have been generally better since then. He's easier to comfort when he cries. The screaming is less. He has these stretches where he is alert and happy. He's trying to coo and I swear he's working on smiling, though I know at this point it's very likely just gas. Whatever, I'll still take it!

I've loved him from the moment he grabbed my finger in the delivery room, but I'm starting to like him a whole lot now, too. I think he's going to be a fun kid and I'm feeling pretty lucky to be his mama.

I'm sure there is still plenty of rough stuff on the horizon, but we survived the first month with everyone still intact. That feels like a real win at this point and I'm happy to celebrate it.

23 comments:

AllisonC said...

Congratulations - both on the birth of your son and getting through the first month. You have some adorable photos there!

Carolyn (cmarie12) said...

Congratulations and welcome to motherhood! Thanks for sharing such wonderful pictures of your handsome son.

Amanda S. said...

Congratulations on your new addition! I'm so sorry to hear about that rough first month. It can be so hard at the time, but manageable with some perspective. He'll grow out of the screaming (hopefully!) and become an awesome little boy. And after some time, baby screaming won't grate on your nerves so much (ask me how I know!) I also hope you know that it's okay to leave him in a safe place and walk away. Get somewhere where you can't hear the screaming and regroup. Hugs!

Lindsay T said...

Aww! Congratulations on your new little one. He's absolutely precious. Enjoy this new phase of your life!

Handmade said...

Congratulations! What a little cutie!! I can relate to the anxiety of parenting a new baby - though my baby boy just turned 17 I can still vividly recall the exhaustion and worry that a new bub brings. It gets better and better day by day - so enjoy it all!

Tameka said...

Amber's a mama! Congrats again friend...he is beautiful!

Sewtellme said...

Super YAY!!!!Congratulations. He's so precious.

Leslie said...

Yay! You made it through the first month! :)

It gets better, trust me. I know it's already gotten better, but it will get even more better. You WILL sleep again!

I sent you an email awhile back, just wanted to make sure you knew that. Been thinking of you! xoxo

Susan said...

Congratulations! I know how rough things can get - just keep on keeping on. Your little man is a real blessing.

I think that gassy smiles still count too. lol

Kathleen said...

Congratulations - he's so cute!

Stephanie H said...

Congrats! He is so cute.

Reflux is so hard on you, I've been there. Let me know if you need anyone to talk to about it.

For the gas and colicy stuff we ended up using the happytummi (a savior really) and coliccalm. I recmomend them both for your sanity!

Vanessa said...

Congratulations on your wonderful baby boy! I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you had, and want to let you know I totally relate!

My first child, also a boy, cried quite often when nothing was wrong. I refused to say it was colic as suggested by my mother, but looking back it could have been. The hardest part for me was dealing with all of this behavior with a firstborn. My hubby and I kept thinking "What are we doing wrong?" Later, we realized our son was just a high need child (I think I read that in Dr. Sears handbook).

What helped my son was gripe water and a baby sling. He was peaceful as ever when I carried him in the sling, and at the age of three months, he settled into a happy, giggly little boy!

So, hang in there, it gets better! May God give you wisdom in raising your little boy, and may you always know what an amazing mom you are in spite of some of the difficulties. If you need a break and you have a friend who can give you one, take it! Sometimes getting a breather helps you return more refreshed and keeps you from getting burned out.

Again, many blessings to you and your family!

Sandi said...

Congratulations! He is just precious. Two of my four children had pretty bad reflux as babies and would scream (as you are describing). It was really scary and unnerving (and not to scare you, but both ended up with complications that were brief but terrifying to a new mom). If the screaming doesn't stop with meds, tell your pediatrician. Both of them outgrew the problem by age one, but the early months were stressful.

Take care of yourself and take a little time each day for you. Motherhood is a wonderful but exhausting journey. It can be very hard to maintain your identity (to yourself!) at times, but I have found a creative outlet goes a long way (even now with an 11, 9, 6, and 4 year old).

Congratulations again!

Insomniac said...

Congrats A! What a wonderful post... :)

Meigan said...

Congratulations on your little one!

dapotato said...

congrats, again! despite all the rough stuff you guys have been going through, you're still glowing in these pics. :)

Karin said...

Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your lovely family pictures with us! I only have two girls, but what you describe is very familiar to me. The first 3 to 4 months were all eating, sleeping and crying in quick cycles. It does get easier as they get bigger and can go a little longer between feeds. My first daughter really screamed, I think something in her digestive track was off. The doctors just shrugged. Whatever it was, she simply outgrew it in the long run.

alyssa said...

I'm so excited for you, Amber! Congratulations! Baby J us adorable and you really are glowing! Hang in there...it does get easier! You guys will get the hang of it, and so will he :) I hope to meet him and see you soon! xoxo!

Feminist Gold Digger said...

Congrats on survival!

And I'm uber jealous that your boobs survived. As you know, mine did not. BoobFailPartay.

jillnjosh said...

Hi Amber,

Congratulations on your new addition. There's an email list for nursing moms who sew. You can find more info at www.nmsl.org. We're also on facebook, but it's a "secret" group so you need to be added by a member to find it.

Thanks for reporting in on the baby-making front.

Jill
mom to Josh

Trisha said...

Awww, you are doing a great job with him! I know it's tough to hear your little man scream and be unconsolable, but you handled everything like a champ. Can't wait to meet the little guy!

SEWN said...

Congratulations! It's the hardest job you'll ever do. Know that year 4 is awesome. You just have to get there. ;)

wan said...

the thinker pose is killing me. he's adorable!